Socializing Sunday
Posted by: inwardsun on: November 29, 2009
It’s the first Sunday of Advent.
The hundreds of glowing stars and candles lit up the city in its other so grey and foggy disguise.
I woke up with an after taste of cocktails and a red wine reminder hammering in my head. Micke was already up clearing away the bottles and glasses from last night.
The sun was out and about too, reflecting an eccentric gold shimmer on the roof tops that illuminated the under surface of the clouds that were moving in.
A friend of mine was out taking pictures down by the pond and I told him I’d come down and join him for a walk while the sun was still shining.
I suggested we’d walk over Västerbron for one of the best views the city has to offer. But as we got closer to the bridge, the fog grew thicker. It was almost surreal to see the city’s outline disappear, walking over an indefinite bridge into the haze. We stopped by my favourite café Bagel Deli for tea in their red velvet couches. Next thing we knew four hours had passed by.
I felt boosted by energy from our talk but still, the tiredness from a late night out reminded me that my body needed rest. I walked slowly up the hill, looking forward to a relaxed evening with a book.
But no.
It’s Champions League and pizza night in the house, followed by as much ginger bread cookies and glüwein you can have with a hang over.
Oh, how can you complain when they are this cute?
Love after love
Posted by: inwardsun on: November 29, 2009
- In: The poetry
- 2 Comments
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
And say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was yourself.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
Derek Walcott
Thank you’s
Posted by: inwardsun on: November 26, 2009
I think it is around Thanksgiving time in the States now, am I right?
Sweden doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving.
Is it because we don’t have anything to be thankful for? Of course we do.
Is it because we can’t remember what to be thankful for? Probably.
Sweden is said to be the most secular country in the world. To quote an online Biblical Ministry Organisation:
Sweden relinquished its claim of Lutheranism as its State religion in 2000 and now boasts one of the lowest percentage rates of belief in God in the western world.
Sweden can safely lay claim to being one of Europe’s “least Christian” nations.
A poll from 2006 conducted by Dagens Industri revealed Swedes have far more trust in major Swedish businesses, public television, Swedish universities, and the central bank than in the Swedish Church. As the older generation of Swedes passes away, the percentage of reproducing believers decreases.
Only five percent of the population regularly attends church.
Years ago, I had a relationship with an Italian guy. He was a practising Catholic living in the most holy Catholic center of the world, Rome. I, myself, loved to randomly stroll into the city’s churches and marvel over their beauty and peaceful atmosphere, but I did not feel the presence of a greater force, more there than anywhere else. It wasn’t until I came with Paolo to Sunday mass that I fully understood the influence on people those walls had.
People joined hands, cheek kissed and looked each other in the eyes as they proclaimed their belief. I did just like the others, but I felt completely out of place. As if someone was talking to me in a strange and different language, I nodded and smiled, but didn’t quite comprehend the significance of the words.
I still don’t.
But as I grow older I understand the difference between organized religion and belief. And I realize, I believe in a lot of things.
The power of true gratefulness is one of them.
So before I go to sleep every night, as I usually lie on my acupressure mat,
I whisper thank you’s…
For the comfort and safety that life provides for me
For all the moments that have played out during the day
For the emotions I am able – and choose to feel
For the smiles and for the tears
For the insights and knowledge I gain by experience
For the possibilities that lay like invisible stepping stones around me
For everything’s perfect proceeding
For the unconditional love that is faultlessly rooted in me
And I give thanks to you for being a part of it!
Reason and Passion
Posted by: inwardsun on: November 25, 2009
Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows – then let your heart say in silence;
“God rests in reason.”
And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky, – then let your heart say in awe;
“God moves in passion.”
And since you are a breath in God’s sphere, and a leaf in God’s forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion
Khalil Gibran
Inner and outer worlds
Posted by: inwardsun on: November 25, 2009
- In: The music
- 3 Comments
Stockholm is sleepy today.
I close my eyes and open my ears.
Kids
Posted by: inwardsun on: November 24, 2009
Is it me or are there suddenly more babies around? I seem to notice them more than before…
I think probably since about half a year the thought of children have began to cross my mind more frequently. I’ve always known I am supposed to be a mother and I am looking forward to the day when the time is ready. It is by no means in the nearest future, but still my head is getting used to the idea. I guess it’s only natural.
I guess it’s biological. Tic, tac…
I guess it is because more of my friends are becoming parents these days than travelling around the world. Even the least likely ones, like my girl friend from back home who used to be the typical single party chick. We were crawled up in Bibbi’s couch when she dropped the bomb and announced that she was pregnant. She has changed a lot in the last year and gotten very serious with her boyfriend so it wasn’t that unexpected.
I found myself looking at her in awe while she spoke of mood swings and physical changes and then I saw it; the glow of a pregnant woman.
She had never been more beautiful.
Speaking of children, I’ve been hanging out with Frida and her son, Mio, 18 months. He is a cool kid. Easy going and a lot of fun!
We went to Junibacken, Astrid Lindgren’s museum. She was the author of Pippi Longstocking and basically every Swedish traditional children story that I grew up with. The sound of her voice is as familiar to me as my own grandma’s. Mio is too young to appreciate the awesomeness of the museum but he liked the story train almost as much as me, Frida and Beatrice did.
At work there are kids around all the time. I hear them talk with their parents and I smile at their cleverness and wonder if I will truly realize the greatness of those moments, when those children are my own.
I will be travelling the world first. But I will be a mother one day. And I hope I will glow.
Salsa success
Posted by: inwardsun on: November 24, 2009
Don’t you just love good complementary food?
The matches made in heaven.
Brie cheese and fig marmalade…
Honey coated crispy walnuts in a juicy pear salad…
Peanut butter on Granny Smith apples…
Chocolate fudge cake served with fresh raspberry sauce…
Please make me stop!
I had a perfectly ripe mango lying around so I came up with this:
(And if you’re into fresh coriander, you’re in for a treat)
1 perfect mango, cut in cubes
1 small red onion, cut finely
10 or so of good cherry tomatoes, cut in small bits
1 hand full of chopped fresh coriander
1 hand full of chopped fresh parsley
Slice and dice everything and mix carefully together. You won’t need to add anything else!
I served the salsa with red curry marinated grilled chicken filet, bulgur and a dip made of equal parts of feta cheese and crème fraiche mixed with a spoon of mango chutney.
Yes. It was delicious.
In fact, it was so good when my friend Peter called I told him it was the kind of food you would want to impress someone with. 30 minutes later Micke came home after a week of working in Prague. First thing he said was that he was tired of heavy Eastern European food.
I got to impress him with my salsa.
Sick and/or tired
Posted by: inwardsun on: November 23, 2009
I know this feeling.
Sore throat, swollen tonsils, head ready to explode, body aching…
Shit, I’m getting sick.
Or I am just very tired.
So tired I didn’t hear the alarm this morning but still woke up 15 minutes before 6, stepped into the clothes on the floor and was a work not much later than usual.
As I walked the short path to work I listened to the sound of the city waking up. Lights were being turned on in the kitchens. Bouncy dogs were let out to sniff the wet morning grass. Someone was running for the bus. Me, I was observing the surroundings with eyes half open and mind half asleep.
Until I got my coffee I was no fun at all.
I’ve been working long hours many days in a row now and I think the exhaustion is slowly catching up on me. So are the thoughts.
It’s Christmas in a month…
And soon, this year is over and a new one begins.
I know this feeling.
I’m only this far…
Posted by: inwardsun on: November 23, 2009
Come and see
I swear by now I’m playing time against my troubles
I’m coming slow but speeding
Do you wish a dance and while
I’m in the front
The play on time is won
But the difficulty is coming here
I will go in this way
And find my own way out
I won’t tell you what to be
But I’m coming to much more
Me
All at once the ghosts come back
Reeling in you now
What if they came down crushing
Remember when I used to play for
All of the loneliness that nobody
Notices now
I’m begging slow I’m coming here
Only waiting
I wanted to stay
I wanted to play,
I wanted to love you
I’m only this far
And only tomorrow leads my way
I’m coming waltzing back and
Moving into your head
Please, I wouldn’t pass this by
I wouldn’t take any more than
What sort of man goes by
I will bring water
Why won’t you ever be glad
It melts into wonder
I came in praying for you
Why won’t you run
In the rain and play
Let the tears splash all over you
Hey sister, soul sister
Posted by: inwardsun on: November 21, 2009
Let me introduce you to Sara. She is a singer, (and a songwriter…yes you are!) a street dancer, a writer (lately, in English too, I’m impressed), a photographer, an artist and a fighter with a loving soul.
And she is the best little sister in the world!
We have the same father, but have never lived under the same roof. We have spent summers and winters at my dad’s and taken every opportunity, in every possible city, to meet up. Sometimes just a few hours to watch her in a school performance. Sometimes a quick coffee at a train station. Most often long walks and precious talks.
When I studied in Båstad she was not further away than an hour’s train ride so she could come stay at my place for the weekend or I could head down to Malmö for a day of shopping or picnicking.
Ever since she was little she has been creative. I’ve saved all of the paintings she made. I’ve kept the photographs in a special album. She drew a heart once that I have inframed and one Christmas she gave me a box of ginger bread cookies with words describing me written in sugar icing…I had to eat them eventually, but I took pictures of every single one.
I am so proud of her.
I don’t know much but I know this; she could go anywhere she wants and be whoever she wants to be. The world is at her feet.
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