inwardsun.outwardsmile

Posts Tagged ‘Seasons

It’s almost May but the cold winter air lingers. There’s a sort of in between stage, a standstill in the way the sprouting trees stand half sprung and waiting. Makes me think of the beautiful poem by Karin Boye, posted in Swedish below. It goes something like…

“surely it must hurt when buds burst, why else would spring hesitate”

And we wait…..

We wait for warm breezes. For sunshine on our faces. For colours to come alive. For birds to sing and bees to buzz. For picnics in the park and the hopes of romance.

…but not in vain.

Maria left me a little note in the kitchen the other day:

Good morning sunshine!

Thanks for doing some of my laundry! Work-out today!

A good day for plants to grow! There’s hope for organic mojitos!

I feel like the sprouting trees, stretching towards the sky.

I feel a change coming.

And I feel like having mojitos!

 

Ja visst gör det ont när knoppar brister.

Varför skulle annars våren tveka?

Varför skulle all vår heta längtan

bindas i det frusna bitterbleka?

Höljet var ju knoppen hela vintern.

 

Vad är det för nytt, som tär och spränger?

Ja visst gör det ont när knoppar brister,

ont för det som växer

och det som stänger.

 

Ja nog är det svårt när droppar faller.

Skälvande av ängslan tungt de hänger,

klamrar sig vid kvisten, sväller, glider -

tyngden drar dem neråt, hur de klänger.

Svårt att vara oviss, rädd och delad,

svårt att känna djupet dra och kalla,

ändå sitta kvar och bara darra -

svårt att vilja stanna

och vilja falla.

 

Då, när det är värst och inget hjälper,

Brister som i jubel trädets knoppar.

Då, när ingen rädsla längre håller,

faller i ett glitter kvistens droppar

glömmer att de skrämdes av det nya

glömmer att de ängslades för färden -

känner en sekund sin största trygghet,

vilar i den tillit

som skapar världen.

Karin Boye

I’ve been battling a cold for almost two weeks now. Every time I’ve felt better and started working out again, or drinking less ginger tea it’s come back threefold. Yesterday I woke up with a swollen left tonsil, making it a pain to swallow and my left ear aching. So I stayed home from work and stayed in bed and got back to drinking plenty of tea, water and soup. In the evening I felt a lot better and even had some normal food and sweets, which probably wasn’t the best idea as it had me coughing all night.

I want to get well because I’m going to visit my little sister in Gothenburg this weekend. I haven’t seen her since Midsummer last year which is insane but I guess with her studies in Gothenburg and my work in Oslo we just haven’t had any time before now, although we live less than a 3 hours train ride from each other. In fact I’m going to deliver her Christmas present…although it’s actually closer to her birthday now.

The weather has been completely unpredictable lately with sunshine and 15 degrees one day and temperatures just above zero the next. No wonder we get sick.

Alright, I need to get packing, and I need to get well.

Have a great weekend, people!

Love n’ Light,

Helen

My days are like snowflakes: I wake up and they are there, around me, as I walk to and from work. Sometimes they are cold and in my face and I am trying to get where I’m going. Other times they are twirling beautifully around me and I stop and absorb the miracle of nature changing form. At all times, the snowflakes fall to the ground and melt away.

I’m trying my best to enjoy this winter, but I’ve been working so much and fallen into a routine where I basically eat and sleep.

I rarely get fresh air, or daylight.

No wonder I’m tired.

So today I decided to make it an energy boost day. I slept until I woke up from the buzz on the street outside. I got up and made myself coffee and a crisp bread sandwich with avocado and coriander. My room mate Charlotte was getting ready in the bathroom. I put music on loud and we danced around in our robes, and joked about how the Swedish term for “morning robe” translates to “morning rock”. How appropriate.

I talked to a couple of friends. I called my grandma who’s in the hospital since two weeks and she sounded better. I helped a friend out with her CV and checked for train tickets to go visit my little sister in Gothenburg.

And then I took a long walk around the city…

I walked around the designer shops in Vika and down to the trendy, over-priced restaurants by the harbor where I had coffee at Kaffebrenneriet with a half nude David Beckham spinning on a poster outside.

When I got home, my other room mate Maria told me how happy the little note I’d left had made her and then we discussed whether it would be best to buy an apartment in Sweden or Norway.

I went to a Shape Pulse class at the gym while Maria made us pesto and feta-baked salmon with salad, which we ate late in our little kitchen. Charlotte stayed over at her boyfriend’s since they are leaving for a ski trip this weekend.

Me, I’m invited up to Karoline’s cabin in a few weeks. Until then, I’ll just have to make the most out of what Oslo has to offer. And try not fall too deep into hibernation.

Tell me, do you feel you make the most of the seasons?

The sky is pale, and so is my skin.

I’ve been low lately with signs of a flu coming.

But I’ve decided to listen to my body and treat it with all the goodness it needs, and I trust that the time of recovery will be short.

I went to yoga class on Monday evening.

I slept fifteen hours on Tuesday.

I made a spicy curry, lentil, carrot and ginger soup.

I called grandma.

I had a hot shower, let fresh air into my room, watched a movie (and cried a little)

I had lots of fresh ginger tea, lemon water and fresh fruit.

And chocolate ice-cream :)

I skipped all training for two days and walked slowly to work on Wednesday, dressed in warm socks, rubber boots, a cozy cardigan, scarf and hat.

And today, Thursday, I feel much better and although a little low, I feel alright.

We tend to get sick with the change of season and weather. It reminds us to slow down and listen to our bodies.

Good health is the foundation for every other possibility of life.

Treat yourself well.

Love,

Helen

The grass may be greener on the other side

…but the snow is whiter over here

And I wouldn’t want to be

Anywhere else

…in ♥ with this winter.

This morning my friend’s son, Mio, sneaked into the guest room where I was sleeping…”Len, wake up!” I smiled a little and stole a kiss from his cheek, thinking that although children are a far future in my life, I’m excited about that chapter.

I had come out the day before to pick Mio up from kindergarten. Being home now means I get to be a part of his life and the second baby that Frida and Andreas are having in January. Speaking of babies, Anja was home for the weekend with her baby Aston, so I got to cuddle with him a little.

November is continuing to surprise me with its rather

peculiar light and interesting changes.

Not only has the landscape changed from golden brownish earthy colours

to a sparkling frost and snowy white siluette.

But other things are shaping up too.

Me and my brother finally helped mom to pick out a new sofa today. It only took two and a half hours and a whole lot of test sitting and disagreeing but hopefully before Christmas we’ll all be sitting comfortably in a new stylish coffee couch.

I’m doing an excellent job at the gym. Because I didn’t think I’d stay I’ve been buying 30 days gym-cards. And because I’ve wanted to get my money’s worth I’ve been going for workouts 5-6 times a week.

And as for the real job situation, the conversation with my coach took a very interesting turn the other day…:)

It was November—the month of crimson sunsets, parting birds, deep, sad hymns of the sea, passionate wind-songs in the pines.

/L.M. Montgomery

And dare I say, a beautiful month, and a potential beginning.

February was a fly by as usual and we are soon in mid-March. I have been back in Sweden for exactly one year. I have no idea where I will be, one year from now.

Most likely, I will be travelling in India or somewhere in South East Asia. I might be hanging out with Bibbi in the Philippines or I may have run out of money already and have head down to New Zealand to work. This said, I may just as well be in the Cayman Islands – or Svalbard for that matter.

I know there is no need to plan, much less talk about plans.

It’s been hard enough to justify my choices over the last year (especially for myself!). It’s been tough enough, when things have seemed to go against me, to keep keeping in mind, that nothing ever does.

That patience, faith and confidence will get me anywhere. In and on time…

The daily note from the Universe reminded me of that:

Sometimes, Helen, when things take longer than you thought they would, it’s just a gentle reminder from your greater self (me), that you have more time than you thought, and that there’s a journey to enjoy.

Yeah, like all the time in the world.

Besides, Helen, just because it’s taking longer than you thought it would, doesn’t mean stuff isn’t happening, even as you read these words.

I’m not on a road trip in the sunny country side of a warm country, but I am smiling and just now, at 5 o’clock in the afternoon, I was as close to witnessing a sunset as you can be, on a winter’s day in this east coast city. That was, from my kitchen window and the sun slowly faded in gold and disappeared into pink clouds.

Now this picture, is from my living room window, overlooking the south island of Stockholm, covered in white.

It was minus twenty degrees this morning and all subway transport was cancelled due to the cold. The buses were crammed of course and taxis were booked for hours in advance. SL – Stockholm’s public transport service, actually advised people to stay home if possible. Everyone was more or less late for work. Except for people like myself, that are lucky enough to have a job within walking distance.

I love this winter wonderland and I wouldn’t trade it for grey weather or even warmer temperatures. I don’t see the meaning in complaining.

Winter will be over, spring time will come, summer will caress our glowing skin again and by the time we think it will last forever, fall will sweep in with whirling leaves and a feeling of inevitable change.

That’s Life.

The leaves have almost completely fallen off the trees around the pond I see from my window. The wind has forced even the most unwavering ones to surrender and now they lay gathered in piles on the sidewalk, moldering.

Change is inevitable.

As it gets colder outside, doors open for me and I step inside the warmth.

So happy I moved in.

I have laughed more than I can remember laughing in a long time. I have cooked food with excitement and creativity. I have served and been served. I have sat by a dinner table again, enjoying wine and easy conversations. I have watched movies on a on big screen TV and episodes from Navy Seals. I have woken up from early morning after parties and I have come home to find groups of guys hanging out watching soccer and eating pizza. There has been music around me again.

Guys are so easy going.

If you clear the table for a guy he will say thank you when a girl would excuse herself.

If a guy puts Bruce Springsteen at the loudest on the stereo he’ll expect you to tell him to turn it down if you want it quiet. But until you do, he’ll just enjoy the music.

Micke and I get along amazingly well. Tomas is only home for a weekend once in a while, but he is super sweet too. They are both nice to be around.

No fuss.

I will post more pictures soon, I promise. But now, I’m off to the gym. Micke says that if not for results, then for character.

Maybe the best guidance I’ve ever been given.


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